Before I go – 1

Dear Friend,

I am glad that I’ve come across such a nice person like you in this life. I have told you the stories about people I met and you haven’t quite heard me say that I was glad after meeting them; so believe me when I say it. I am going to repeat it for like a thousand times. I am really glad that I happened to meet you. I feel really honored after receiving your kindness. I am wondering how life becomes easy or perhaps appears to be so when all that changes in life is one single thing— someone’s presence.

I am glad that you exist and made me a part of your life. From the time I have known you, my life appears to be a little happier. It was because of you that I do not have to force myself to sleep, it comes very naturally. I do not worry much about anything. Although, I am worried about how fast it is all happening. And how fast all of it started. We have just started to get to know each other but it feels like it’s been ages since I know you. It was not the first time that I got a compliment that I am beautiful; but when it came from you, it felt like even the cells in my body felt appreciated for existing. I mean, that is what you do to me.

I am awful, as you know, okay? So, no, you do not have to smile at me… Well, I am still awful even after you smiling back at me like that… I messed up little of my things these days. I am not on talking terms with the friend I mentioned about in the previous mail. I hope you still remember him. Well, he denied again for taking down our traditional day’s photo from Facebook. So that’s why I lost it. I had been requesting him for days but he was all acting up. So, I yelled at him on the phone and he called me a bitch. Yeah, it is pitiful but it is okay. He also told me that I was characterless and that is the reason why Arham left me. It did not shock me. I was well prepared for it because I saw that coming. The day before this happened, he was with Arham at the Banyan Tree in our college and it was me who they were talking about so loudly. Later, Arham went to his girlfriend and started doing cute things that couples do, probably to make me feel jealous. I was feeling sorry for him. I am praying that he should actually invest in his girl and stop trying so hard on making me feel jealous. I really do not know why does he feel like I’d be jealous. I have showered him with the “B” words and “F” words, also called him loser a thousand times at least, alone for his low acts; but I think that time is no closer when he’d stop doing all of it. But I do everything that screams I DO NOT CARE. I wonder why I was with that jerk all this while. You know, there are times when I think why all of that happened, and the other moment I am like just very grateful that it did not stay.

Maybe, if all of it stayed; I would have never realized that waiting hours for someone to respond to your text messages and calls just because they tell you they love you does not actually mean that they do. Just because they tell you that they need you, does not imply that it is a necessity to do what they want you to…And maybe, if all of it stayed, I wonder that I would have never realized that I was being manipulated all this while.

Then I also happen to think about what if it stayed? Then, maybe, I would have never been awake. I would have never met you, of course, accidentally. And I would have never given a shot into our first conversation that led to many. I would have missed all the things that are meant to be remembered for now and ever. The conversation we had late nights. The emoji wars. The Meena boy jokes. So I am glad, that it passed on.

I am glad that things are just fine. Samaira and Christine are planning to meet up. Let’s see when it happens.

And again, you do not know what you do to me, but for now, I would just say that I am glad that I met you.

Yours truly,



2 thoughts on “Before I go – 1

  1. Kakali Mohanty

    Hajraaa! This is so beautifully penned! It felt as if I was reading excerpts from some novel. Looking forward to read more! Keep it up, truckloads of love! ❤


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